Why Adulting Sucks Even with a Job
Find your own famous quote about hard work and success and put it here.
I haven't published anything on Adulting Sucks since June. I said I would post more regularly, but annoying adulting choices caught up with that dream.
Today, I'm here to talk about dream jobs and how pining for one can make life suck lemons. If you like lemons (and I just love them - oh! that mouth watering is happening just at the thought of a fresh juicy bush lemon), then you may find some of the advice contained in this article of interest.
Hot adulting tips for work:
When a job is not your dream
Do you have a dream job? My dream job is to earn a living from creative writing. And not just a few dollars here and there for a published book but a decent living that helps with bills, mortgage, meals and movies.
Admittedly, my dream job is also my retirement plan. (Seriously, I am here for the long haul.)
My "day job" which frequently bleeds into my evening hours is commercial writing.
When I'm not on Substack, social media, playing CIV VI or hanging out with my immediate family watching hero films, I (mostly) write from home to help make ends meet. I write commercial blog articles, around 1,500 words each.
My commercial articles do well in search engines. The clients are happy.
My work also extends to managing a couple of commercial newsletters and the occasional editing of print media. How could I say no to earning more income by using my organisational and writing skills?
But commercial writing is not my dream job. While it comes close to it, I want to be doing creative writing fulltime.
The challenges of continuous employment
Almost a decade on after starting the plan to conquer my dream job, I'm still producing commercial blog posts.
Last month, I flexed some old design muscles and created an Adobe Illustrator brochure for a client. That was different and I thoroughly enjoyed the task.
And I'm now writing regular social media posts for another client. One of the topics for last month focused on R U OK Day.
"R U OK?"
Working alone, I felt a bit left out of the national campaign. No, I am not OK. Thanks for asking I said to no one. In my workspace, there is just me and my PC. I am still figuring out how to get my PC to have an adulting conversation with me. I love this working environment without the social burdens.
My work colleagues are cats.. They meow and interrupt me like regular work mates do. They get me out from behind my desk to walk with them, feed them and stop their gossiping and bickering. They are my workplace health and safety team. They really look out for me.
However, communicating with cats differs from chatting with a work colleague or AI. For a start, don't expect simple answers.
I'm fortunate to have worked with two continuing clients over the past 6 years. It is almost the longest working relationship I've held.
Many people change jobs after 2-3 years, some don't even stay for a year.
In between jobs
There are a few reasons for me not feeling OK. I often feel like I go around and around repeating the same thing, over and over again with the same result. It is the definition of crazy. Sounds like my entire life.
One of the more recent stressors was that my dearly beloved was retrenched at the end of June. He had noticed the restructuring and loss of people at his workplace several months before. At first, he thought he was being ghosted. Then, he became the ghost.
Being retrenched is just one of those facets of life. It happens but life's struggles are real for many people. It pays to be kind, to be a generous person with your time rather than a flippant, grown-ass adult who has little compassion for people doing it tough.
My husband has been on one of those swirling, churning, flipping water rides while looking for his next work opportunity. He tried super hard over the last couple of months to find a new job, sending off three or more applications a day.
In return, he received rejection after rejection. It wasn't that he was not the right fit for many of these vacancies. He's an intelligent worker. Talented. He has the skills, determination and the experience for the applications he completed.
Hot adulting tips on making it work (pun intended)
#1 - Applying for jobs electronically
After a couple of sessions with an employment coach, he discovered the layout of his resume might be the culprit for all the nos. It was two pages long and used columns and text boxes to make it aesthetically pleasing to the eye.
He was told that job applications are opened and read by bots now. "And bots can't read text in text boxes," the employment coach advised.
So, my dearly beloved changed the look of his resume. He made it simple. KISS.
He also changed his tactic to targeting jobs posted 3 days or less ago. After weeks of waiting for one positive reply, he secured his first interview.
When the day of his interview arrived, he looked sharp. I'm not religious, but I have faith in my husband's interview ability. He interviews well on either side of the table.
From this one interview, he received his first job offer!
Happy dance!
Now, all we have to do is wait for the starting date. Less than a week to go.
#2 - Plan before you leap
Studies suggest at least every person will change careers once in their lifetime.
There are a lot of people who do not like the work they do. Instead, they stick it out for what it promises despite being in unchallenged roles or toxic work environments. Many people change jobs multiple times. Most often, it is the security of having a paying job for life's necessities that gets us up each day.
If you're a regular job changer, think about why you're changing jobs or careers.
Is the work boring?
Is it a toxic work environment?
Perhaps you don't like your boss or have too many to manage.
Are you using it to climb the ladder?
Is it to find your true calling?
Listing lots of jobs on a resume with short periods of work experience doesn't always send the right message to a potential employer.
Since the pandemic, the media has made it appear easy to change careers. "There are so many jobs right now," it screamed. We discovered a lot of advertisements were already filled.
Changing careers depends on a whole host of things, such as:
Experience.
Education.
Connections.
Right place, right time.
Willingness to start at the bottom (again).
Tenacity.
Wellbeing.
Presentation.
Confidence.
Acceptance: The "like" factor.
#3 - Follow your dreams, not those imposed on you
When I was a young child, adults would often shut down the things I wanted to be when I was older. I’m sure this happens to other children.
I remember wanting to be a policeman. Since I wore glasses, I was told that it wasn't going to happen. Then, I wanted to be a nurse. Nope, that was out of my reach. So too was becoming a ballet dancer because I was too fat and I was not smart enough to become an astronaut.
If I get a second chance at life, I'm definitely coming back as an astronaut.
There was a strong desire to follow my artistic passions in my teens. By the time I was 16, I had written a couple of bad plays.
One play was so bad I entered it into a competition and scored a weekend all-expenses-paid trip to Sydney for a National Young Playwrights Workshop (or something like that). A heap of other young people did the same.
I wrote another boring play when I was 21 and entered it into the same annual event. This time, the weekend workshop was located in Melbourne. We had a fun time.
At this point, I didn't know I wanted to be a writer. it was just a pastime I liked doing. I wanted to do acting but I was expected to follow a dream to become an opera singer. It was a dream passed down to me and encouraged, rather than being my own idea.
#4 - Rash employment decisions
Creative writing has always been in the background as a pastime. And billions of people also dream of becoming writers. I just didn't see writing as a way to provide for my independence and make a consistent living.
You might say I was short sighted.
It took receiving a payment and then another from an online content farm about 12 years ago for me to realise that I could make a go of writing.
Writing commercial copy was not what I had in mind. Even though it is where I have found my feet and a part-time living. This decision is the second time in my life where I chose the illusion of stability over art.
The first time I made this decision was when I toyed with an acting career. Newly returned from a year of intensive training in the UK. I gave myself 2 whole weeks to get a job in the industry or else.
Then came telemarketing.
While living at Uncle Richard's house, I called a property group about a telemarketing job. This start eventually led to a career in Human Resources some 18 years later. After a few years in Human Resources, I found myself caught in the web of a massive black hole.
I was drowning in work. Drowning in the responsibility I had for the safety of others, untrusting of peers and feeling guilty for missing my child’s first five years.
I’ve left HR and I do not write for the content farm any more. My writing is still there. I'm picking at it like a crow to improve it and relocate it elsewhere. They still send me a payment once or twice a year based on the advertising revenue it generates. It is nice to get paid.
Pastimes bring joy to the in between moments of adult chores
For ten years or more, I've been writing a fictional book and a few other stories.
In between the commercial writing, in between the demands of everyday life and the chores that adults tumble through, I occasionally find half an hour or a few minutes here and there to dedicate to my creative writing.
Sometimes, on rare occasions, it stretches into several hours where time stands still. In this forever time, I can release my imagination and enjoy the writing that I want to leave as my life's legacy.
Work can be good. It pays the bills, puts a roof over your head (when one is available), and it allows you to occasionally buy something nice for yourself or for others. But, yes, there is a but. Doing endless hours of work you do not enjoy, makes this adult life suck.
More than once a month, I work late nights, weekends and into the wee hours of the next day to juggle home life with my work commitments. Last month, I worked 22 hours straight to perfect a commercial task.
It is difficult to say how much money I have made from writing creatively. There is the content farm, where a couple of my poems hang about, and I have one paid subscriber here on Substack. Thanks, family member. 😉 I truly appreciate the support. (That podcast is coming, I promise!)
The right to disconnect, even from our callings
When you're giving it all to a job, even when you are not 100% invested, adulting sucks. As adults, we must fight to find the right balance between work and play.
This delicate juggling act is challenging. For one, it leaves out family. So, when you add family, whether immediate or otherwise, play or work suffers. For most people, the "play" which includes the enjoyment of pastimes in the work-life balancing cycle diminishes.
A clear line between work, between a job and life outside of a job, is a necessity for many who are not living their dream.
I once said in a job interview, "I work to live, not live to work." This statement landed me the job. Reflecting back, I know it is not valid. There have been many times (many, many, many, many-many-many-many-many (take a breath now)) when work was my life.
I've brought work home. I've started work hours early, left late, worked weekends and given employers hours, days, and weeks of my free time when I did not need to do so. Yes, adulting sucks even when you have a job.
Even now as a freelancer, because I fear how easily I can be replaced, I still make myself available to work outside ordinary business hours.
Because of this fear, because of the desire to be kind to my future working self and thoughtful to the health and wellbeing of others, I fully support the Right to Disconnect.
My parting advice to job hunters and work enthusiasts:
If you can not land your dream job, or
even if you do
find a way to keep some distance, or
it will run all over you.
P.S. I have some admin catching up to do on pricing and a few other things that have happened in my absence. But if you would like to support my work, please consider subscribing. My next piece will be for subscribers only.
P.P.S. I’ve done it again. The sun is shining and the night has gone.